Chicago Tribune

gladding.sam

Holiday SOS: “If you don’t want to be the suffering servant [this holiday season], then you need to ask for help,” says Samuel Gladding, professor and chair of the counseling department at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, N.C. “And if you don’t want to have resentment instead of turkey for Thanksgiving, you need to do something.” So how do you move from resentful martyr to sociable delegater? Recast the roles some people play. Think about tasks you would like help with (go ahead, make a list) and those you don’t (you always hate it when noncooks try to help while you’re cooking). Season with a sense of humor. Then ask — before the event. “The most effective way is to give an invitation rather than a demand,” says Gladding, who advises to keep the tone light. “So it’s ‘We’d really like to have you come to Thanksgiving, but we need some help since there will be a number of us. Could you bring the corn pudding?’ It’s kind of an inquiry; it’s kind of an invitation; it’s kind of ‘We really need some help on this.'”

Category: Faculty News